Pete's Tours Rides Again: The Fundy Trail

Pete’s Tours Rides Again: The Fundy Trail!

You’ve heard of the Fundy Trail. It’s described in tourism literature as “strenuous and serious.” The intrepid explorer, Old Pete, likes nothing better than a challenge. He worked all summer in his backyard swimming pool getting in shape to lead the fall excursion of his growing enterprise, Pete’s Tours.

Pete and the Swim Team

Not every 72-year-old has the fortitude to undertake the Fundy Trail. Of course, Pete did not set out alone. He gathered the troops filling the Big Green Touring Machine with fearless trekkers, some experienced, some less so. 

Pete and the Fundy Crew

Sylvia, Peggy, Kathy, Peter, Lesley, Gail, Beth

Calling on his military experience, Pete was shrewd in assigning roles to his six passengers. Every leader needs an assistant, a sidekick, an Aide-de-Camp.  Sitting right up front beside Pete, Kathy was delighted to accept that role, willing and able to give directions, make quick decisions and keep the platoon in order. Without doubt and without Pete's knowledge, she is scheming to one day take over complete command of Pete’s Tours. 

A Growing Enterprise

While Pete and Kathy were in charge at the helm, at the other end of the class hierarchy, waaaaay back in the economy seats, sat three discontented, disconnected passengers.  Western culture is full of notable threesomes---The Three Wisemen, The Three Little Pigs, The Holy Trinity, The Three Bears, The Three Witches in Macbeth, The Three Musketeers, The Supremes…the list goes on. These three, Sylvia, Gail and Beth, became known as The Forgotten Three. It’s a long way, literally and figuratively, from the ship’s wheelhouse to steerage in the back seat. There were moments when The Forgotten Three felt as if the Big Green Touring Machine had left Millstream without the backseat. Yes, they could very well be sitting in Pete’s driveway on a bench seat from an aging Dodge Caravan. 

The Forgotten Three

Bridging the gap between the Power Rangers in the front and the Downtrodden in the back, sat Lesley the Padre and Peggy the Medic. Together, in the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) they attempted to keep the peace and bring solace to the wounded. Peace-keeping is not easy. 

DMZ 

Conditions in the backseat were crowded and uncomfortable. Struggling to fit three medium-sized bodies into a space intended for two pre-adolescent grandchildren, the in-fighting began before the Big Green Touring Machine left the lower end of Peter’s curved driveway.

“I can’t find the end of my seatbelt!”
“Move over!”
“You’ve got your buckle in my slot! Get it out!”
“I can’t find my elbow!”
“It’s in my ribs! Move over!”
“Get off my jacket!”
“I’m choking…”

Alas. The economy class. Started out bad. Never improved. The Captain and his Aide-de-Camp couldn’t hear the constant whining of complaints issuing forth from steerage. Only when the Big Green Touring Machine hit a pot-hole, a rock or loose gravel, did the screams and yelps from the economy class remind Pete and Kathy of the less fortunate. 

Economy Class

Unfortunately, for Lesley and Peggy, it was their middle seat in the DMZ that felt the anger from the disaffected citizens in the back toward the powerful elite in the front. The tug-of-war between the marginalized and the privileged was palpable for the Padre and the Medic. Their talents of conciliation and collaboration could not begin to soothe the troubled waters of class warfare. 

Lesley and Peggy...

New recruits Gail and Beth were more than excited to take on their positions as Musical Director and Local Historian when they were initially invited to join Pete’s Tours. Days before the trip, Gail was humming and singing and harmonizing all over Kings and St. John Counties. 

“Happy trails to you,

Until we meet again.

Happy trails to you,

Keep smiling until then”

Beth had cheerfully brushed up on every ghost story, baptismal certificate and graveyard along the Fundy Trail.

“And if you look over here to your right, you’ll see the gravesite of the first woman in the Parish of Studholm to win the milking competition at the Sussex Agricultural Fair in 1923.” 

Historical Gravesite

 Sylvia had graciously resumed her role as Highway Safety Officer, a job she has held on all of Pete’s previous excursions. Indeed, Sylvia has held that position since birth. She's a natural!

"Peter, there’s a truck coming and it’s coming pretty friggin’ fast!!!"

"Stop at that stop sign, Peter. It’s a bad one!"

"There’s a passing lane ahead, Peter! Slow down. There might be somebody behind us!"

Highway Safety Officer

  Gail’s singing, Beth’s narration and Sylvia’s warnings all fell on deaf ears.  

Deaf Ears

“Do you hear anything from the back, Kathy?” Peter asked his Aide-de-Camp.

“No, not really. Just a dull murmur as if someone is talking or singing,” Kathy answered.
The Padre spoke up. “I think we should consider stopping to use the bathroom, Peter. The three in the back need to go.”
“Yes, it’s unhealthy to allow your bladder to overfill,” added the Medic.
“I don’t really need to go yet, Peggy,” Kathy replied over her shoulder. “Do you, Peter?”
“No,” Peter answered. “Since I started working on my Kegels, I can last for hours.”

And the Big Green Touring Machine continued up the road.

BGTM

In fact, the Big Green Touring Machine continued up and down and over many roads passing through communities such as Upperton, Ratter’s Corner, Drury Cove, St. Martin’s, Salt Springs, Upham, Smith Road, Mercer Settlement, Southfield, Penobsquis, Drummond, Parleeville Road and Millstream. The sights are too numerous to name, but highlights include a suspicious axe stuck in a fencepost, piles of ashes used for fertilizer, a round house with no corners, a Bailey Bridge, wild turkeys, the Hearst Mansion, a very friendly waitress, an animal masseuse, clam chowder, a postcard collection, four Bernese mountain dogs, high tide, low tide…All this before they even got to the Fundy Trail!

Suspicious Axe

When the group finally arrived at the trailhead, they were pleased to learn it was Ambassadors’ Day and the entrance fee was reduced. All seven ambassadors were released from the Big Green Touring Machine to find bathroom facilities. Pete and Kathy kept their distance from The Forgotten Three and the edge of the cliff. 

Stay Away from the Edge

After hours and miles of touring, The Big Green Touring Machine made it back to Millstream, sort of intact. The Forgotten Three were still disgruntled, the Captain and his Aide-de-Camp were still oblivious, and the Padre and the Medic were making plans to call in a mediator before the next trip. 

...Until Next Time...