Friday, 29 July 2016

Words of Wisdom for the Bride-to-Be

Words of Wisdom for the Bride-to-Be

     My daughter Emma is getting married.  Among the many pre-nuptial traditions, there was the Bachelorette Party which involved thematic games such as the The Panty Guessing Game.  Each guest brought a (new) pair of panties for Emma.  They were put in a big box and Emma drew out each pair and guessed which of her friends had brought them based on the personality of the friend and the character of the panties.  You know, there was the crocheted pair, the be-ribbonned ones, the control tops, the Jem and the Holograms panties, etc, etc.  Sounds like fun, right?  So we decided to adapt that Panty Guessing Game for the multi-generational Women of Influence Party.  

Panty Guessing Game

     Each guest attending The Women of Influence Party brought Words of Wisdom for the bride-to-be written anonymously on a piece of paper.  They were placed in the WoW basket, drawn out and read aloud to the assembled masses.  Emma then had to guess which of the Wise Women had written those Wise Words. 

For the Bride-to-Be

     It was an interesting process.  Some were funny, some deadly serious, all worthy of consideration.  Certain themes were repeated.  Some were original, some admittedly gleaned from the God-Blessed Internet.  There was advice from Shakespeare, advice from elderly grandmothers, advice from the Kingston Peninsula Heritage Society, advice from husbands, advice from my deceased mother, advice from Dear Abby, advice from all my living aunts, and advice from Emily Dickinson.  People really don’t mind sharing advice when it comes to marriage.  And in a general, non-individual milieu, people don’t mind receiving it!  One of our guests said it was sort of like attending a marriage refresher workshop.  
Refresher Course

     I have assembled those pieces of advice in a little book for Emma's reference as she navigates through the holy state of matrimony.  
Emma's Reference Book

     And I’m going to share some nuggets with you, just in case you’re looking for a refresher…..

“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”
                                          - Wisdom from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice

Men are like puppies; train them well and you won’t end up with pee on the floor.

Tell Jarrett what you want, need, think, feel and ask him to do the same. 'Mind reading' abilities are not included with the marriage certificate.

There is no love where there is no obstacle.

When in doubt about how to make him happy, make him his favourite dessert. (At least that is what my aunt said to do overall in life when all else fails.)

Hang in there.

Always have each other’s back in public. Never belittle your spouse. Have all the disagreements people normally do but let the world know you two are best friends.

Get a dog.

Don’t expect everything to be perfect.

My advice to you, dear Emma......
Don't ever change.
Grow ....but stay the kind, considerate, accepting, generous, gentle soul that you have been from the get go....

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you snore alone.

My words of wisdom for Emma: no partying “Colorado style” in the tent at Harvest Jazz, in front of the stage with Helen or forfeit your pass.

Try to see their point of view, even if it’s wrong. 

They (husbands) need prompting, and I don’t mean a little hint. They need to be told directly. Try something like, “Time for cleaning. Do you want to do the bathroom or the vacuuming?” I would suggest you start this practice early—like last month.

Laugh as much as possible.

Ask yourself, “Are you better off with him, or without him?” (Dear Abby)

Anyone can do the right thing when life is easy; doing the right thing when life is hard is what defines character. 

Who is going to wash the dirty frying pan after it has soaked for 3 days?

…make time for one another and to do things together that you both enjoy.  These moments tend to diminish when/if children come along, but they are so important.

For any partnership to be sustainable, there needs to be mutual respect. 

Have a life outside your marriage.

Eat ALL the Street Greek; Drink ALL the Gray Stone; Dance with ALL the people.
Don’t let the sun set on your anger.

…on the day of your wedding, only one thing matters…that you are there and he is.  Don’t stress about all the other details. 

You can’t change people.

Buy a canoe longer than the length of your husband’s arm and paddle.

Be kind, be sweet,
Be messy or neat,
Be present, be real,
Say what you feel.
Be funny, be sad,
Be happy, be glad,
Be honest, be true,
Be all that is you.
Be loving, be smart,
Be witty, have heart,
Be a partner, be a wife,
Enjoy marriage, enjoy life!

If you really want something done, and your partner is not interested, do it yourself or hire someone. At that point, not too many men can keep their nose out of it.

Hold no grudges.

A husband should always get the last word in as long as it is “Yes Dear.”

Don’t say anything in haste.  You can’t take it back!


Placing blame in a marriage is like saying, “Your side of the boat is sinking.”


Walk a mile in his shoes and make sure he walks a mile in hers.
A good marriage is not all about looking to each other but more about holding hands as you look in the same direction.

That love is all there is,
Is all we know of love;
It is enough, the freight should be
Proportioned to the groove.
(Emily Dickinson 1830-86)

Do you have any Words of Wisdom to offer the bride-to-be????

The Bride-to-Be

....Until Next Time....