RhuBarb, the Musical

RhuBarb, the Musical

Rhubarb, the Musical

This is my eighth year in the rhubarb business. I spent 30 years as a teacher and I want to match that number as a rhubarb mogul, or mongrel as my intern calls it.  I’ll only be 84 when I hit Rhubarb Retirement Age (RRA). My Uncle Sam worked the rhubarb scene well into his 80s; he is my inspiration.

Uncle Sam

Tom, my faithful intern, has been by my side for these 8 years, but I can’t say he’s been totally content in his role. In fact, he was grumbling last Sunday when we headed out to the patch. He felt his breakfast of half an English muffin, a solid ounce of Irish cheddar and two extra strength Tylenol was a bit scant. I reminded him that when we were finished in 3 hours, he would be rewarded with the other half of the English muffin, an entire can of Brunswick sardines in mustard and two more extra strength Tylenol.

Breakfast

Although I’ve never explored this with a professional, there may be a nasty edge to my rhubarb enthusiasm when it comes to my intern. I take some pleasure in reporting that he still works for the same wage after 8 years of residency. Zero dollars per hour. 

Intern Wages

On the other hand, I do consider job satisfaction beyond monetary compensation. For example, in the rhubarb patch last weekend when Tom started singing Paul McCartney’s “Get Back”, I was relieved that he had at least stopped complaining. It took me a few minutes to realize he was singing Get Back, Get Back, Get Back to the Rhubarb Patch. When he eagerly proposed Rhubarb, the Musical, what else could I do but humour him. The idea was distracting him from the bending, twisting, lugging…putting a little spring in his step!  Job satisfaction was on the upswing. 

Contented Intern

By the time we had filled our 170-pound order, Rhubarb, the Musical was more than a distant dream of a lowly intern. Tom had decided that the musical should be performed on site in the fashion of Shakespeare in the Park. He had made an extensive (mental) list of costumes and props, and had selected the following hits:

·        If I Were a Rhubarber and You Were a Lackey

·        Take me to the Rhubarb, Don’t Forget the Water

·        Hello Rhubarb, my Old Friend

·        In the Early Morning Patch, With a B’nana Box in my Hand

·        The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Rhubarb

·        Rhubarb Control to Intern Tom

·        I Never Picked Rhubarb

·        Rhubarb Barb, Rhubarb’ra Ann

·        Just Pick It, Just Pick It

·        You Can’t Talk to a Woman with a Rhubarb Knife in her Hand

·        Get Back, Get Back, Get Back to the Rhubarb Patch

·        Rhubarby Fields Forever

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Although there are still some minor details to work out, you can buy your tickets in advance…

...Until Next Time...