Is it Love or Lactose Intolerance?
Six years into retirement, I finally tackled the Clean-Up the Boxes in the Basement Project. One good-sized cardboard carton was full of letters that I received from various friends and family members beginning when I left the family nest in 1975 to attend university. I come from a long line of Letter Hoarders and I’ve been dragging those letters around for 43 years. Why, you might ask. Good question.
Box of History
I sorted the letters into piles with the intention of
returning them to the people who wrote them, so they could revisit themselves
43 years ago. They could do with them what they wanted—read them, share them, frame them, burn
them.
Sorted Piles of Letters
When I delivered the little bundle of personal history
to my sister, Kathy, we immediately tore into them and spent the evening
reading them aloud. We had a rousing time, visiting our teen-aged selves. My
30-year-old daughter and my 63-year-old husband/room-mate were present for the
entertainment. When we left after two hours Emma commented that she had not laughed so
hard in a long time, maybe not in her whole life! What was so funny? Imagine Emma getting a glimpse of her mother at 18 and her aunt at 16. What a trip!
Emma at the Reading
Like a Rhinestone Cowboy
Gettin' cards and letters from people I don't even know...
Of course the other students found out that Gordo and
Kathy were siblings. Mr. Math Teacher gave it away one day when he said in
frustration to his math-challenged sister, “I can’t believe we were borne from
the same mother!” Soon after a male student pointed out the familial
resemblance. “Barb, he said Gordo and I
had the same beer bellies and the same sideburns!”
Family Resemblance
The Rhinestone Cowboy was apparently oblivious to some
of the shenanigans in his class. “Lennie sits behind
me in Math class and he takes his pencil and plays with my ear.”
L+K=MP
(Lennie and Kathy equals Math Problems)
But, according to the letters, it wasn’t Lennie who
tickled her fancy. It was Jimmy.
Burning Cheeks
Adolescent Angst
"When I think or write
about him, my cheeks burn like when I eat cheese." Was it love or lactose intolerance? Who knows. Kathy
had a violent side as well. In one letter, she expressed her anger toward some poor victim saying,
“I want to stick a knitting needle in one
ear ‘til it comes out the other, crooked!” I like the knitting needle
allusion.
Knitting Needle Weapon
Sixteen-year-old Kathy hated school, but she loved her
dog, Toni. “When I get home from school I
just take Toni and go to the haymow and look out the big window.” She was
less fond of her dog, Flipper. “Flipper
bit my hand again. He won’t last long.” A dog named Flipper. After a
dolphin. No wonder he bit her hand.
Kathy and Toni in the Haymow??
Our
grandfather lived with us at that time. He was notoriously tight with his
money, like some of his descendants. Kathy writes in one letter, “Grampy was going to send you five dollars,
but I told him you didn’t need it,” thus cheating me out of financial aid I really could have used!
Missed Bursary
And she took great delight in telling me that my old
boyfriend was interested in her now. “He’s
still mad at you because you didn’t sit beside him at the Sussex rink.”
Missed Opportunity
Her letters had definite themes other than
school-hating, crushes and dogs. There was family and neighbourhood news
including births, deaths, chainsaw accidents, pulp-dragging, squash-picking,
new glasses, belts, diets and bad colds.
She would warn me of particularly startling news with, “Barb, sit down and plan to stay there quite a while.” Then she would share the awful news with me, such as the snowshoe confession.
She would warn me of particularly startling news with, “Barb, sit down and plan to stay there quite a while.” Then she would share the awful news with me, such as the snowshoe confession.
"Settle Down"
Crackers, Crackers
Pen-Names
Over
the years, my mother, brother, aunts, uncle, cousins have carefully preserved and lovingly transcribed
collections of letters from our ancestors. They have published them in coiled
booklets and made copies available to family members at a reasonable price.
When I reminded Emma of those collections she said, “I’d pay at least a hundred dollars for the “The Kathy Chronicles." (I see a business opportunity here.)
Letters to and from the Sea
When I reminded Emma of those collections she said, “I’d pay at least a hundred dollars for the “The Kathy Chronicles." (I see a business opportunity here.)
Letters from Home
...Until Next Time...
Priceless!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sue. We'll invite you to the next reading!
DeleteHilarious! Lucky Emma for the chance to get this glimpse of her mom and aunt! Definitely should (edit and) publish!
ReplyDeleteHi Unknown! Yes, Emma was quite delighted!
DeleteWish I could have been there for the night of fun !!!
ReplyDeleteSusan, I have some letters for you!
Deletewhat fun! Janet C. was sharing/reading her old letters from the same era- it must be the season!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDorothy, I have some letters for you!
DeleteBarb: Honest to goodness this posting is laugh out loud funny. Thank you for digging deep into the stash of your letters and sharing the Kathy Chronicles with us. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteJody, want to buy a copy of The Kathy Chronicles? $100.00. Taxes in.
DeleteVery entertaining to read Barb! I can just imagine Emma in the reading. Sounds like it was a fun night!
ReplyDeleteIt was a very special night!
Deletethose letters are a treasure. be sure to keep them and read them every once in a while
ReplyDeletefrom your cousin Ronnie Brosnahan
DeleteThanks, Ronnie!!
Delete